Love is the only answer.

It's so hard to say goodbye to friends. I know that I have only known some of the ones who have left Derry for just a few months, but already I feel like I miss them. And it's kinda funny, cause it's made me question my own future in this country. I know that my career is not going to fluctuate here, anyone who has been to a local gig in Belfast or even sometimes in Derry will know that people do not give 2 SHITS about the bands performing; unless of course they're a cool hip Indie band with nothing better to offer than 4 chords and pissed up lead singers who are full of themselves 'cause they got signed onto a local "label".

Of course I could question the whole Northern Irish music scene and go into the philosophies and socio-psychological reasons why the local scene does not get enough appreciation; but I think I'd take up too much of your time and probably not many people care anyway.

Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent here.

Basically, I want out of this country, pronto.

Whilst I have found a "home" in Derry, both environmentally and mentally, I feel that even Derry is not good enough for my progress for my career. I would say though that the music scene in Derry is a lot more welcoming and "open minded" than the Belfast one, but the problem for me is that I haven't fully tapped into the gigging network in Derry, and have only established contacts from my Music class and from people within university also. It also doesn't help that the bands I am in are completely different from the bands in Derry; and the ones we are closest to in terms of genre are either too big for us to gig with, or not big enough for us to draw a reasonable crowd.

Ideally, I feel that the best place for me to move to is America. And, more recently, it's not just because of my career. Almost every American I have met here these past 3 years have completely understood me, found me interesting, and I have really enjoyed hanging out with all of them. And I feel that I'm almost like an American trapped in a Northern Irishmans body. My friends here at uni say I have "American humour" and my band taste and influences certainly mostly come from America. My girlfriend linked me to a site for music jobs in America, and within the first page alone I seen at least 4 drumming vacancies, whether it be for session work or to play with bands, and the minimum guaranteed pay PER GIG for one band was $100 (circa £50). I haven't even earned that much in one gig in NI, ever.

The reason why I started with saying how hard it was to say goodbye to some friends was that I myself will be saying goodbye to this university for good come June 3rd. And to be honest, I feel as if I can't. They've provided me 3 of the best years of my life, and I've met many friends who I am going to keep for life. And the weird thing is, I'm going to be saying goodbye to THEM, and I most likely won't see about 65% of them again, due to them moving on to greener pastures or perhaps just losing contact with them, even in a world where it is almost impossible to lose contacts thanks to these "social networking" sites.

And, in the hopefully not so distant future, I'll be saying goodbye to all my friends from this country too. And I don't know if I can do it. My intentions are to be in America by at the latest summer of next year, and if it means selling some things I thought I'd never sell (like my drum kit for example) then I'll do it. I'm determined to work my ass off here at home (and simultaneously look for jobs preferably in North Carolina, where my girlfriend lives when she's not in Derry for a semester..lol), both in a job and hopefully in some form of music-related thing, cause like my mum said, what would be the point of doing a Music degree if I'm not going to be involved in something to do with Music? Then, once I raise the funds to move to America and get all the Green Card shiz sorted out, I will be on my way to pastures green, so to speak. Our wee Iain is growing up!!

It's been a good relaxing week, finished my last ever Musicology exam (which in itself is a huge shock..it's been so accustomed to me these past 3 years, and partially during A Levels too) and have just been laying low really. Went a bit crazy last night (Wednesday) and I missed out on going to the final ever Union tonight, but hey the Union has went significantly downhill, or maybe I'm just getting older. This weekend involves me and Colettes first time of being completely FREE of exams and stress, so we'll be severely taking it easy, with the possibility of my mum and granny coming to Derry for the day on Saturday, which for Colette will be "daunting", apparently. Then the week that lies ahead after that will be filled with mucho practicing for June 3rd final Performance, and possibly recording a Spandex Wizard EP.

Love is the only answer.

Iain :-)